“... And remember that the only time is now...”

Preface: Yes, the title is grateful dead quote. 

If these past couple weeks have taught me anything it’s this: life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not. This is a quote made by the character of Uncle Iroh from the TV series Avatar: The Last Airbender (a show I highly recommend watching, it has aged so so well). 

I was in a state of shock a couple weeks ago when I moved into my site. When I got into the house, I immediately got to work setting up my house and unpacking. After some time to reflect, I did this because I was sick of not feeling settled and I also was so nervous about moving into my new community. But after these couple of weeks those anxieties have melted away to make room for new ones. School starts Monday, I begin my job and I begin my journey of trying to make an impact in Illubabor. I was talking to a very close friend of mine and we were talking about all of our doubts and worries. We came to the conclusion that there was always going to a point where we cast ourselves into the fire and it was almost impossible to prepare for. Yet here we still are, doing just fine.

If I’m honest, I lack a lot of teaching experience and I doubt myself almost daily. However, I’ve come to the realization that I have two choices in this situation: let that doubt define me, or try to enjoy the ride and give it all a go. My mom always taught me to find the joy in everyday and I intend to try and do just that.

Peace corps is very much, when boiled down to the moments of the day, about getting to the next one. You messed up the lesson in class? No worries, always tomorrow. You made a fool of yourself trying to speak the language? Well (most) locals appreciate your effort and there’s always tomorrow to redeem your shame and regain pride in your language skills. However, as uncle Iroh said “pride is not that opposite of shame, but it’s source.” If there’s anything I’ve learned thus far is to not have shame when it comes to communicating. You won’t learn the language if you done try and you don’t fail.

I’ve been thinking about many things in my time at site. My family (love you mom, and gram!! Also it was just my dads birthday so shout out to that old geezer), my friends, and my home. But my mind has always come back to one thing: my fear of failing. I’m so afraid of failing my community, my students, and the peace corps. But I’ve realized that as long as I give it an honest go, and really get into it, my failures (and they will occur) will only pose to improve my service as long as I let them do so.

In my 22 years of life, at least in my experience, you seemingly have two choices in many situations where there is a set back: react negatively, or look for the silver lining. For what it’s worth, I’ve found that my inspiration to continue my service remains when I go for the second option rather than the first. To get cliche and annoying for just a moment, life is very much like a minibus going to your hubtown. It’s going to the destination whether you like it or not, and it’s your choice to grab a seat, or to let it pass by.

Until next time my friends!

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