5 days...ruminations on packing, anxiety, and the future.

Here I am sitting in my kitchen trying to wrap my head around the decision I have made to leave my beautiful home and comfort of being in America and head out to the other side of the world. I am 5 days out of leaving for staging in D.C. for my service in Ethiopia. I know so little; I know I'll be teaching English in country, but I do not know what age, and I do not know where I will be in country. I have so many questions!!! Where will I be? Will I be good at what I'm doing? How should I define "doing a good job"? How am I suppose to learn the language, Will my host family like me? Unfortunately, so many (if not all) of my questions will not be answered until I get there. What is a guy suppose to do in order to prepare for this journey?! I came to a realization when I graduated a couple weeks ago that the best I can do is pack, try to prepare mentally and do my best to say *see you later* (not goodbye) to friends and family state side. Which, by the way, I definitely was not able to say goodbye to everyone I would have liked to; so just know if you are reading this, I care about you and I will see you all soon!

Anyway, I'm not even sure what to say in this post. I literally had at least 4 mini anxiety attacks a couple hours ago while reading blogs of people who are doing the same thing I am doing. All I can do right now is laugh at myself, shrug it off and get packing! I guess that might be a good place to start. If you're a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) reading this at some point in the future trying to figure out what to pack and how to pack, I would first recommend going to the Peace Corps reddit page; there are a lot of helpful people and pieces of advice that I found incredibly important. When I initially did a full pack a couple days ago, I had three bags: a 90L ruck, a 45L ruck, and an LL bean backpack. But I had the realization that I am going to be moving three or four times in my service and do NOT want to be lugging around three heavy bags. Currently have it down to the 90L and the LL bean pack...But i might just go with the 90L. Either way, try to only pack the essentials and pack LIGHT! I won't go into crazy detail about what I am bringing but the things I think will be most important are: water purification, small trinkets my friends have given me (shout out to Jenna on Da Block for the tiny hands), a water bottle, and a nice pair of trail shoes (waterproof). However, I literally have no idea what is or is not going to be important so if you are reading this thinking you are totally in over your head with your choice to volunteer; trust me, so am I.

I can't help but think of the last panel from Calvin and Hobbes at this moment in my life. There's a big world out there and I can not wait to explore it. I know in my time with the PC, there are going to be days where I will be cursing myself for making this decision, but there are also going to be moments where I thank myself for taking the dive. My mom always says that every day may not great, but there is joy to be had in each and every one. I guess that's all you have to do: Find the joy!

I guess that's where I will end this post. I am going to try to update this as much as I possibly can throughout my service but I am not sure how much access to WiFi there will be. Yet another unknown that will not become known until I get there!

Thanks for reading, and welcome to my Soap box!

Comments

  1. GramJune 9, 2019 at 9:16 AM

    Marc I miss you already. I know in my heart that you will do your very best and there will be days of “what have I done”. You are young and have great compassion. These are very much in your Conner. You have so much to learn, but you have so much to give. You are talented and smart. I wish you Well and you are always in my prayers.

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